How to Build Confidence in Public Speaking

Each of us at least once in our life was faced with the need to speak to the public. Some people are naturally endowed with charisma, openness, and the ability to articulate their thoughts intelligibly. You have probably met such speakers and admired their courage and wondered: how are they not scared and nervous? Because for most of us, public speaking means anxiety and insecurity on stage. 

If you are familiar with symptoms such as sweaty palms, rapid breathing, and the feeling that your heart is about to jump out of your chest while you slowly, agonizingly flush with your entire body, then this article is for you. If you’re with lucky people who don’t experience performance anxiety, this read will still contain useful tools for self-development and growth as a speaker.

Positive Thinking: Belief in Success

Negative thoughts and attitudes often determine how you will perform. You can be a real master at the topic that’s being discussed, read through hundreds of pages in preparation for a presentation, or even use a teleprompter, but inner doubts and negative expectations will nullify all your efforts. Because negative expectations often mean you’re waiting for it all to fail — and it drains your confidence in your expertise. That’s especially noticeable at debates, in which confident people can talk whatever they want — omit, lie, invent things that have never happened — and still win the audience because of how they make the room focus on them via their confidence. 

It all starts in our heads. Try to imagine that your talk has already passed. Picture yourself your ideal speech and try to believe that it is already in the past. It’s done, you’ve done it! Experience the moment of triumph, enjoy the applause of the audience. This way you will gain the necessary confidence and faith in yourself. Then, on the contrary, imagine that you failed and it was the worst performance in your life, but do not get upset. Accept it, reconcile, and find the pros in the failure. Even the most unsuccessful performance has its advantages. At least you tried to do something — and gained valuable experience that will help you move forward.

Human minds are affected by imaginary or not real experiences just as intensely as by real ones, so: you can train yourself to gracefully accept all outcomes of your performance — and that will give you courage and confidence. Bad performance is not the end of the world, but just a stage in your life that can teach you a lot.

Leave Past Public Speaking Experiences Behind

We all have bad moments and setbacks. If you think successful people have never made mistakes, then you are wrong. Imagine what our world would be like if Thomas Addison dropped his hands and gave up after his first failed attempt to create an incandescent light bulb. He made about 10,000 unsuccessful attempts. Imagine a person has failed thousands of times in a row and never gave up.

His perseverance and unshaken belief that he’s right and can do it led to success. On this occasion, Thomas Addison said: “I did not suffer defeat. I just found 10,000 ways that don’t work. ” It is this attitude towards failure that defines successful people. 

Think of your previous unsuccessful performances as experiences that teach you what not to do, how to improve, and how to stay humble. 

Think About Personality: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

You will never be successful at anything if you constantly compare yourself to other people. Each person is unique. Each has their strong sides, each carries their personal hells. Focus on yourself and track your development.

Here are some tools to help you:

• Take responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
• Keep a diary of your personal growth.
• Be honest with yourself.
• Lean into your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses.
• Compare yourself only to who you were yesterday, not to others.
• Reward and praise yourself for success.
• Learn from setbacks and failure.
• Get help if needed.

Remember that growth is always ongoing. Use the methods above and your life begins to change dramatically.

Breathe and Release

Focusing on the breath is the foundation of yoga and meditation. Try them to relieve your stress and calm your mind. When you are overwhelmed with emotions and you cannot control yourself, learn to breathe deeply and rhythmically, focus on what’s really happening instead of what you think will happen. Learn to calm your mind. 

We will not cite yoga or meditation lessons here – this information is fully available in the public domain. Check out the practices and use the one that works best for you (but don’t start yoga on your own — find yourself a good instructor!) To learn more about how they can help you, check out Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish on how meditation and breath control helped him cope with stress and achieve unprecedented heights in cinema.

Accept Yourself

Modern media often paint us the image of the ideal person. Such heroes have no fears, complexes, or failures. They always react correctly and quickly to the difficulties that have arisen and are never wrong. Realize that no one is perfect and the real world is much more complicated (and much more interesting, actually.) 

Accept yourself with all your shortcomings — then, you’ll have the opportunity to work on yourself and change. Give yourself permission to be happy and prosper even though you’re not perfect: you cannot be perfect, but you can feel joy and grow.